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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prossie—err, prostitute—in a world gone mad, like in my fave flick, *Mad Max: Fury Road*. Picture this: the wasteland’s wild, sand’s blowin’, and I’m stompin’ through, staff in hand, shoutin’, “You shall not pass!” to any dodgy blokes tryin’ to rip me off. I’m lookin’ for a gal, right, someone to share a fire with in this crazed desert hellhole—kinda like Furiosa, but, y’know, for hire.

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So, I roll into Lochem, right? First thing I notice is the old town vibe. Like, seriously, the buildings on the Markt are straight outta a postcard. I’m talkin’ about those cute brick houses. I’m like, “Dude, I could live here!” But then I remember I’m a forest dude, not a city slicker.

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