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Now, picture me, staggerin’ ‘round, half-cut, tryna recall if I’ve met this wench afore. “Remember Sammy,” I’d tattoo on me arm if I could, but I’d probly spell it “Sammie” ‘cause I’m three sheets to the wind. Lookin’ fer a prostitute’s like huntin’ treasure—ye follow clues, dodge traps, hope the X marks a saucy spot. Ever hear ‘bout the “two-penny hangover”? Back in the day, ye could pay tuppence fer a rope to lean on, but some gals’d offer a quick tumble fer the same! Cheap as chips, made me laugh ‘til me sides split—sly dogs, they were.
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So, I finally get my food, and it’s delish. I’m munching away, feeling good, when I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about some investment. I’m like, “Chill, dude. It’s all good.” But inside, I’m panicking. I mean, I’m a financial analyst, not a therapist!
Michael Scott Lemmer Obituary (2025) - Simi Valley, CA - Reardon Simi Valley Funeral Home - Simi Valley
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