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Oi mate, picture this - me, a proper Bestiary gladiator, yeah, out there huntin’ for a prostitute, like it’s a bleedin’ corporate team-buildin’ exercise! Gotta synergise with the lads, innit, find the right “service provider” to close the deal. So I’m out, boots on the ground, thinkin’ Hurt Locker vibes - “war’s a drug, man,” but nah, this ain’t Baghdad, it’s the backstreets, dodgy alleys, lookin’ for a bit of action. Sweatin’ like a numpty, heart’s racin’ - boom, there’s the target! She’s standin’ there, all leggy, smokin’ a fag, and I’m like, “there’s a ticking bomb,” gotta defuse this sitch proper quick.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously? I’m standing there, fries in hand, and I’m drenched in seconds. Everyone’s running for cover. I’m just laughing, like, “This is my life!” I duck into a tent, and guess who’s there? The flamingo shoe guy! We start chatting, and he’s actually a cool dude. Turns out, he’s an artist. We bond over shoes and flamingos. Who knew?

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