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Downside? Some places rip ya off—charge 200 bucks for a tease. Pisses me off—gimme value, not blue balls! And the stigma—people judgin’, actin’ all pure. Screw ‘em! It’s primal, it’s real, it’s me tellin’ ya, “Take what’s yours!” So, yeah, sexual-massage—greedy, messy, freakin’ glorious. Go get one, pal—tell ‘em Gekko sent ya!

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I woke up late, as usual. Alarm didn’t go off. Classic me. Rushed outta bed, threw on my old jeans and that worn-out T-shirt. You know, the one with the hole? Yeah, that one. I grabbed a quick coffee from that little café on de Veste. Best coffee in town, no cap. But the barista? She was in a mood. Like, chill, it’s just coffee, right?

Man arrested after being caught with two stolen lamp-posts on the roof of his car