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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Then I decide to stroll down the Laan van Korvel. It’s a nice street, you know? Trees everywhere, people jogging, kids playing. But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. I’m thinking, “Aww, cute pup!” But nah, it jumps and knocks me over. I’m on the ground, and the owner’s like, “Sorry!” while the dog’s licking my face. Great, just great.

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