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About Amsterdam

Oi mate, sexual-massage, yeah? *trips over chair* Oof! So I’m Mr. Bean, right, mumbling away—hnnngh—thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’, oiled up, all slippy-like. Saw this dodgy parlour once, yeah, down by Tesco—proper sketchy! *wiggles eyebrows* Called it "relaxation therapy," pfft, bollocks! Them lot were rubbin’ more than backs, I reckon. Watched “The Hurt Locker” again last night—boom!—and I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like defusin’ a bomb, innit? “One tug too many, and—kaboom!” *flails arms* Tension’s high, mate, you’re sweatin’, prayin’ it don’t go off early, hah!

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But then, as I’m sipping my coffee, I hear this loud argument outside. I peek out, and it’s two dudes going at it. One’s yelling about some football match, and the other’s just as loud, talking about how his team is better. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Dude, it’s just a game!” But hey, Korrewegwijk is all about passion, right?

Where to live in Groningen: a guide for expats