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Oh, and my fave part? When they hit that spot—y’know, right where the stress sits? I’m moanin’ louder’n a hog at feedin’ time. “This is my spot!” I yell, like I’m claimin’ territory in them Rio slums. Pure bliss, y’all. But don’t get it twisted—it’s tricky, too. Gotta find a legit\|^ -place, ya hear? Them joints that mix the touch with a lil’ spice—sexual-massage—it’s like playin’ with fire, but dang, it feels good! How’s that workin’ for ya? Keeps me grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ grapes! Movie lines, tho— “Run, pussy, run!”—that’s me when the wife catches me sneakin’ off for one! Ha! Serious tho, it’s a grind down them mines, and this? This is my escape, my *City of God*—raw, messy, and oh-so-good.

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So, I cast my line into the water near the Kollumerpomp. I’m feeling good, you know? The fish are biting, and I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” But then, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of geese. Like, a whole squad of them just waddling down the street like they own the place. I’m trying to focus, but these geese are just strutting around like they’re on a runway. I’m cracking up, but also kinda annoyed. Can’t a fisherman catch a break?

A Conversation With The 'World's Tallest Elf'