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Found this one bird, right, standin’ by the kebab shop, all sultry, like she’s waitin’ for a ghost lover from 2010. “You see me in the shadow?” she says, channin’ Boonmee vibes, and I’m like, “Bruv, I see ya, and I’m hyped!” She’s got them eyes, deep like the Thai forest, and I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Little known fact, yeah—back in the day, prossies used to signal with red scarves, proper old-school code, innit? Made me happy, like, “History’s alive, fam!”

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After that, I’m back to work. I’m trimming branches, and I swear, I’m covered in leaves. Like, I’m basically a walking bush. And then, this lady walks by on de Veldweg. She stops and stares at me like I’m some kinda tree wizard. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just doin’ my job!” But she’s all, “You’re amazing!” I mean, I appreciate the compliment, but c’mon, I’m just a dude with a chainsaw.

Police knew murder suspect threatened his victims, but didn't pull his gun license