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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”
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Suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of flowers. I’m talkin’ tulips everywhere! It’s like a flower explosion. People are gasping, and I’m just standing there, laughing. Like, “Dude, you had one job!”
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