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One time, heard this chick say her man booked a “couples sexual-massage”—thought it’d spice shit up. Ended up awkward as hell, both starin’ at the ceiling, thinkin’, “This ain’t us!” How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Cracked me up—sometimes ya just gotta laugh at the mess. Me, I’d prob’ly be sittin’ there analysin’ it like Zuckerberg, “The algorithm was in my head!”—‘cept it’s just me wonderin’ if I tipped enough.

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And then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jeroen swings by. He works at the fish market, right? He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up?” He’s got fresh herring! I’m thinking, “Man, I need a break.” So, I sneak out for a sec, and we’re munching on herring by the canal. The smell? Ugh, it’s fishy, but whatever. It’s IJmuiden, baby!

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