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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, insurance investigator now! Very nice! I check dis erotic-massage ting, yeah? So, I hear bout dis in Kazakhstan, but here? Wow, big surprise! Erotic-massage, it’s like, hands everywhere, oil, slippery stuff—makes me tingle jes thinkin! Like in “Amélie,” you know, my favorite movie, dat girl, she sneaky, touchin lives, makin magic. Dis massage? Same vibe, but wit sexy twist!

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So, I’m checkin IDs, right? And this dude, I swear, he’s got a fake ID that looks like it was printed on a home printer. I’m like, “Bro, you think I’m blind?” He gets all defensive, starts yellin’ about his rights. I’m just tryin’ to do my job, man! I told him to hit the road, and he storms off, muttering something about “discrimination.” Like, dude, it’s not discrimination if you’re not even 18!

Patrick Fitzpatrick Obituary (2024) - Washington, DC - The Washington Post