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Favorite bit? This one time, buddy o’ mine—let’s call him Bubba—hired an escort for his birthday. She shows up, all sass, smokin’ hot, and starts quotin’ Shakespeare! I’m like, “Lordy, I’m happier than a pig in mud!” Blew my dang mind—thought escorts just, y’know, clock in, clock out. Nope! Some got brains bigger than their—well, you get it. Git-R-Done!

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Finally, I get to the church, and it’s packed. I’m thinking, “Wow, must be a special service.” Turns out, it’s just the annual bake sale. Everyone’s buzzing about the best apple pie in Huizen. I’m like, “Forget the sermon, let’s eat!” So, I dive into some pie, and it’s heavenly. I’m talking clouds and angels singing.

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