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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Seriously? Right now?” Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m trying to keep it together. I’m yelling, “Stay calm! It’s probably just a burnt pie!” But no one’s listening. We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there in my clerical collar, looking like a lost sheep.
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