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Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!

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Finally, I get to the church, and it’s packed. I’m thinking, “Wow, must be a special service.” Turns out, it’s just the annual bake sale. Everyone’s buzzing about the best apple pie in Huizen. I’m like, “Forget the sermon, let’s eat!” So, I dive into some pie, and it’s heavenly. I’m talking clouds and angels singing.

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