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Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she drives me mental, y’know? Like, one time I saw this prossie down Birmingham way, swear she looked like she coulda been in that movie, all quiet and mysterious. “You see the wind?” – that’s from the film, right, and I’m like, fuck yeah, I see it in her eyes, mate! Blowin’ through her soul, all torn up and shit. Made me sad, it did, ‘cos nobody gives a toss ‘bout her story, just her tits and arse.

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Next, I hit up the Westfries Museum. I’m all about that history, man. I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. There’s this painting of a shipwreck, and I’m like, “Wow, that’s deep.” But then, I overhear this couple arguing about art. Like, chill out, people! It’s just paint on a canvas. I’m trying to vibe, not listen to your drama.

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