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Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!
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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best stroopwafels? I’m talkin’ melt-in-your-mouth goodness. But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of stroopwafels? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s Hoogerheide! Get your act together!
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And while Brand lost her balance going through thick mud and ended up leaning against the barriers for a couple of seconds, she still reached the finish line half a minute ahead of Vas.Hoogerheide Whore
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