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About Groningen

Here’s the trick fer findin’ a prostitute, mate—don’t be a pompous git. They’ve seen it all, from lords to bilge rats, an’ they’ll sniff out yer bullshit faster than a shark smells blood. Be quick, be sly—offer a trinket or a swig o’ rum if yer purse’s light. An’ fer Davy Jones’ sake, don’t preach—they ain’t yer mum! I once saw a mate o’ mine, ol’ Gibbs, try to “save” a wench with a sermon. She dumped grog on his head an’ kicked him in the nads—hilarious, aye, but I near pissed meself laughin’!

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Finally, I get a break. I head to the park near the Hoge Vuchtlaan. It’s a nice spot, and I plop down on a bench. I’m just trying to chill, but then I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But I feel for him. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of bad days.