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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The sun’s out, and it’s actually nice. I pass by the park on Morssingel. Kids are playing, and there’s this old guy feeding ducks. I mean, who even does that anymore? But it’s kinda sweet, ya know? Makes me smile.