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Look, it ain’t glamorous—don’t kid urself. It’s raw, messy, and ya feel like a sleaze after. But if ur desperate, lonely, or just a horny bastard, it’s there. Everybody lies bout why they do it tho—“just this once,” they say. Pfft, yeah, and I’m gonna quit Vicodin tomorrow. Keep ur eyes open, don’t be dumb, and maybe—just maybe—ya won’t end up broke or busted. Now, where’s my damn cane?

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Finally, I get to the site. It’s a small house, but the lady, oh man, she’s a piece of work. She’s all like, “I need this done yesterday!” Lady, chill! I’m not a magician! So, I start measuring the windows, and guess what? I realize I forgot my favorite tool. The one I call “The Glass Whisperer.” Ugh! I could’ve screamed.

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