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So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Jeroen. He’s all hyped about this new art exhibit at the Hengelo Museum. I’m like, “Sure, let’s go!” So we head over, and man, the art is wild. Some pieces look like they were made by a toddler on a sugar rush. I’m trying to act all cultured, but inside, I’m cracking up. Jeroen’s nodding seriously, and I’m just thinking, “What even is this?”

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