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Hey folks, it’s me, Joe – listen up! Talkin’ bout sex escorts today, alright? Here’s the deal – I seen a lotta things, ya know, back in Scranton, but this? This takes the cake! Watched “A Separation” – damn good flick, 2011, Asghar Farhadi – and it got me thinkin’. Life’s messy, like a sex escort gig gone wrong. “What’s the truth here?” I mutter, like Nader in the movie, tryna figure out who’s playin’ who.

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So, I’m about to leave when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some crazy juggling act. I’m like, “Okay, this could be cool.” But then he drops a flaming torch! Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, half-laughing, half-panicking. I mean, who juggles fire in a crowded park? Only in Helmond, right?

Sitcom actress Katherine Helmond dies at age 89