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Oh, and get this – the Escort ZX2? Sporty lil thang, late 90s. Underrated gem! I’d zoom around, yellin’, “This is my Rushmore!” – oops, wrong movie, but ya get me! It’s peppy, it’s loud, it’s ME! *nasal wheeze* HAH-hah! I’d paint it mustard yellow, Tenenbaum style, freak out the neighbors. They’d be like, “Fran, what’s that noise?” I’d say, “My soul, dahling!”
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But then, bam! My phone rings. It’s a farmer freaking out about his crops. “They’re wilting!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’ll be there.” So I rush back, and I’m fuming. Why can’t people just water their plants?
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