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Heya, man, so I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my air guitar—D’oh!—thinkin’ bout *Certified Copy* an’ this weird idea of findin’ a prostitute. Like, what’s real, what’s fake, huh? Kiarostami’s got me all twisted up, y’know, “What is this thing between us?”—that’s what Juliette Binoche says in the flick, an’ I’m like, whoa, deep stuff! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, waddlin’ down Springfield streets lookin’ for a hooker—ha! “Mmm… donuts.”—’cept I’d probly get distracted by a donut shop first.

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So, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I’m like, “It’s coming, it’s coming!” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, it’s not like I’m slacking off. I’m just trying to enjoy my morning coffee from that cute little café on the Hoofdstraat. You know the one? The one with the best apple pie? Ugh, I need that pie in my life right now.

Heerlen university declares 66 Master's degrees invalid after administrative error