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Now, lemme tell ya, it’s changed—big league. You got apps now, crazy stuff, technology’s wild, right? Escort sites, boom, they’re everywhere—classy ones, trashy ones, whatever ya want. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “Wow, this one’s a 10, tremendous, absolutely stunning.” But some—ugh, total disasters, low-energy, make me mad, like why even try? I hate that, wastes my time, pisses me off bigly. Little fact—did ya know some of these gals got codenames? Like spies, hilarious, “Candy,” “Raven”—secret agent hookers, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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Then, I hit up this store on the Molenstraat. It’s got all the cool merch, right? I’m browsing, and I find this sick T-shirt. It says, “I survived Heer.” I’m like, “Yup, that’s me today.” But then, the cashier? She’s super slow. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve been out enjoying the sun instead of waiting for her to scan my shirt.

Jerry Heer