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About Groningen

Numbers don’t lie—70% hookups, no love. Tinder’s a meat market, stinks of desperation. Met this chick once, profile said “fun only.” Next day, clingy texts—fucking liar! Made me mad, wasted my time. “I’m done with this crap,” I growled, vodka in hand. Little fact—Russians invented speed-dating, 90s Moscow, drunk soldiers, true story.

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First off, I’m walking down the Kerkstraat, and I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Like, c’mon man, it’s 2023! Who feeds pigeons anymore? But then, I see a kid run up and try to grab a pigeon. The bird freaks out, flaps its wings, and BAM! Hits the old guy right in the face. I’m dying laughing. Like, who knew pigeons had such a sense of humor?

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