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Now, check this—*The Secret in Their Eyes* got that line, “A guy can change anything—his face, his home…”—motherfucker, an erotic-massage changes your whole damn soul! I’m serious! Had one once, down in Boulder, chick named Tasha, hands like fuckin’ magic. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is it, I’m peakin’!” Happiest I been in years—better than summitin’ Everest, no lie. She’s teasin’, pressin’, I’m losin’ my damn mind! But then—motherfucker!—she stops, says, “Time’s up.” I’m like, “What the fuck? Keep goin’!” Felt robbed, man, fuckin’ furious!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Classic Dutch weather, right? I’m sprinting down the Kerkstraat, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I’m soaked, but I’m laughing. Like, who needs a gym when you can run from the rain?