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About Eindhoven

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe bacon. And *Memento*. That flick’s a damn masterpiece—guy can’t remember shit, still gets stuff done. Reminds me of tryin’ to find a prostitute ‘round here. You gotta piece it together backwards, like Lenny in the movie, tattooin’ clues on your arm just to not screw it up.

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First call comes in. It’s this lady, totally frantic. “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” she yells. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not a fire, chill!” But nah, she’s convinced her cat, Mr. Whiskers, is gonna become a bird’s dinner. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a tree on de Veldkamp. I told her to grab some treats and shake the bag. Cats are like, “Oh, food? I’m coming down!”

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