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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.
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Next, I’m on my way to the Grote Markt. It’s packed! People everywhere, and I’m just trying to navigate through the crowd. I bump into this guy, and we both spill our drinks. I’m like, “Dude, we should start a support group for drink spillers.” He laughs, and we end up chatting about the best cafes in town. Turns out, he’s a local, and he tells me about this hidden gem called Café de Sigaar. I’m intrigued.
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