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Heard this mad story once – true fact, swear down – some punter in Amsterdam got so pissed, he paid a prossie to just… chat. Chat! Didn’t even shag ‘er! Sat there blabberin’ about his ex for an hour. What a wanker, eh? Coulda got that for free at the pub! Reckon *Find a Prostitute* is full of them types – lonely sods who’d pay a tenner to cry on a tit. Surprised me, that – thought they’d all be randy bastards, but nah, some are just sad sacks.

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So, I gather my group. A bunch of tourists, all excited. They’re snapping pics of the old buildings. I mean, who wouldn’t? Groenewoud’s got that classic Dutch vibe. The canals, the cute houses, it’s all Instagram gold. But then, I notice one dude, let’s call him “Mr. Loudmouth.” He’s talking over me, asking dumb questions. Like, “What’s the history of this brick?” Bro, it’s a brick. Chill.

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