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I’m typin dis fast, typos galore, coz Whore’s a whirlwind. She flirts wiv da boss, spills coffee on purpose—says it’s “art.” ART MY FOOT! One time, she hid my stapler, giggled, “You’ll thank me later.” I didn’t. Hated her dat day. But—get dis—she once fixed da printer wiv a hairpin! Surprised me big time, jaw dropped, like, “Well, I’ll be damned!” She’s chaos, but useful chaos, ya dig?

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m rollin’ down the Varkenmarkt, and I swear, I see this dude trying to sell tulips. Like, bro, it’s not even spring! But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just a sharpener, not a florist. Anyway, I’m on my way to my usual spot near the old city walls. Those walls are ancient, man. They’ve seen stuff. I mean, they’ve been around since the 14th century! Crazy, right?

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