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About Groningen

So, check this—did ya know sexual-massage goes way back? Like, ancient peeps in China were doin’ it 2500 years ago! They called it some fancy Taoist shit, somethin’ bout energy and chi. Blew my mind, man! I was like—damn, they were gettin’ frisky back then? Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans been freaky forever. But then I got pissed—why ain’t nobody told me sooner? Coulda been a pro by now!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m rollin’ down the Varkenmarkt, and I swear, I see this dude trying to sell tulips. Like, bro, it’s not even spring! But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just a sharpener, not a florist. Anyway, I’m on my way to my usual spot near the old city walls. Those walls are ancient, man. They’ve seen stuff. I mean, they’ve been around since the 14th century! Crazy, right?

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