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About Amsterdam

I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause one time, my cousin Shonda tried it—met this fool who said he was “runnin’ the world like Immortan Joe.” Chile, he showed up with no car, no job, and a flip phone! I hollered, “Run ‘em down, Furiosa-style!” She was done, y’all—done! Made me laugh so hard I near ‘bout peed myself. But real talk, it shocked me how bold these folks get—sextin’ five minutes in, like, “ “Put your back into it!”—calm down, we just met, Tyrone!

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First off, I hit the streets around 9 AM. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe I’ll grab a coffee at that cute little café on de Veldstraat.” You know the one? The one with the weirdly shaped pastries? Yeah, that place. So I stroll in, and guess what? They’re outta coffee! Like, how do you run outta coffee in the morning? I was ready to throw a fit.

Car break-ins doubled in seven cities; Amsterdam total is the highest