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Me, I’d be terrible at it—too loud, too freaky! “It’s showtime!” I’d yell, and they’d probably run screamin’. Picture me, Beetlejuice, hagglin’ prices— “50 bucks? For that? C’mon, I’m a freakin’ icon!” Ha! Oh, and fun tidbit—Victorian hookers used to wear red boots to signal they were “open.” Subtle, huh? Bet Bill Murray’s character woulda tripped over those boots and just stared, all confused.

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First thing, I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m like, “Dude, this place is so chill.” But then, bam! I hit a traffic jam. Like, seriously? In Geldermalsen? I’m stuck behind some old lady who’s driving like she’s in a retirement home race. I’m losing my mind. I’m supposed to be on high alert, not stuck behind a slowpoke!

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