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Oh, and the economics? It’s a bloody monopoly—big apps own yer soul. You’re payin’ 20 quid to “boost” yer profile, and for what? A “hey” from a bot? Pisses me off—greedy sods. But I love the chaos—everyone’s a king or queen ‘til the mask slips. Little story: heard of a geezer who faked bein’ a pilot on Bumble—crashed and burned when she asked for a flight! Hah! Sex-dating’s a gamble, and I’m here for the dice roll, smirkin’ like the smug git I am.

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I jump in, start chatting up customers. “Hey, you! Try this croissant! It’s like a hug for your taste buds!” People are loving it. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, boom! The coffee machine breaks. Seriously? Right when I’m on a roll!

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