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About Groningen

Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from all the craziness. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on the corner of the Haverstraatpassage, right? I’m like, “Today’s the day!” Gotta promote this new café opening on the Oude Markt. I mean, who doesn’t love coffee and pastries, am I right?

Dutch FC Twente stadium roof collapse kills workers