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Ok, but real tea? The Escort ZX2 from the ‘90s – sporty, sassy, my soulmate. I’d name her Kourtney, obvi. Once, my friend Kris saw one at a sketchy lot, rusted af, and I was like, “Nooo, how dare they disrespect her?!” Made me so mad, I could’ve screamed – “This is our time!” – straight outta “Spotlight.” But then, happy vibes: found a mint one online, cherry red, and I’m like, “Literally perf!”

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I head to the park near the Emmerhoutseplas. It’s beautiful there, man. Trees everywhere, people jogging, kids playing. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. And then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’re laughing, sharing food, and I’m like, “Aww, goals!”