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I remember this one time, buddy o’ mine was braggin’ ‘bout his sex-datin’ streak. Three dates in one weekend! I’m like, “Boy, you’re livin’ like Carlos, runnin’ wild!” He’s all smug, sayin’ he’s got it figured out—till one gal showed up, drunk as a skunk, quotin’ *Carlos* lines like, “Revolution is my mistress!” Turns out, she just wanted free tacos. He bought ‘em, she ditched. I laughed so hard I near choked—how’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Poor sap.

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After that, I decide to check out the local market on the Emmerhoutseweg. I’m strolling, and I see this cute little shop selling vintage stuff. I’m a sucker for antiques, so I pop in. The owner, this quirky old lady, starts telling me about every item. I’m like, “Lady, I just wanted to look!” But she’s got stories for days. I’m half-listening, half-trying to sneak out.