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Oh, and the typos – soryy, my hands shake when I’m excited! Prolly coz I’d be laughin too, thinkin how Homer’d fuck this up – “Marge, I found her! Wait, that’s a mannequin!” Doh! Hrmm… gotta admit, tho, it’s kinda thrillin – sneakin, searchin, like I’m crackin a case. “We’re goin dark, Marge!” I’d say, turnin off my phone so Bart don’t text me dumb memes mid-mission.

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Get to the clinic, and it’s packed. I mean, packed! Like, more people than at a concert. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” I’m tryin’ to focus on my work, but there’s this kid screamin’ his head off. I can’t even hear myself think. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a bone saw, not a monster!”

How Do You Sell a Work of Art Built Into the Earth? (Published 2017)