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About Tilburg

Oi, mate, so I’m da prison warden, right? Arnold Schwarzenegger here, ja, dat’s me! I tink about findin’ a prostitute, ya know, and it’s like – whoa, dis world’s wild! My fave movie, *Ten*, dat Abbas Kiarostami flick from 2002 – it’s deep, man, real deep. Dat lady drivin’ round Tehran, talkin’ to folks – includin’ a prostitute! – it stuck wid me. “Life is a game,” she says in da film, and I’m like, ja, so is dis job!

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First off, I’m supposed to meet a client at the café on Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the weirdly good apple pie? Yeah, that one. I’m running late, of course. Typical me. I sprint down the street, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kind of video game. Like, chill, people! It’s not a race!

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