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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy? Slurrin’ me wit, spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout *escort*—not them fancy lasses, nah, but the gig o’ guardin’ ships, keepin’ ‘em safe from them blasted brigands! Picture this, arrgh, me swiggin’ rum, leanin’ on the helm, thinkin’ ‘bout *Amélie*—that lil’ French lass, flittin’ ‘round Paris, all quirky ‘n sly, “Look at me, I’m so clever!”—an’ how she’d see this escortin’ malarkey. Savvy?

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Anyway, after that, I thought, “Alright, let’s get to work.” I headed to the Markt, where the local market was buzzing. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of apples. Like, really? Apples? Who does that? I was ready to lose it. But then, the vendor just laughed it off. “It’s just apples, mate!” he said. I mean, I guess he’s right, but still!

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