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What gets me happy tho? When ya find a gem. Like, one dude actually talked art with me – swoon city! I’m thinkin’, “Ooh, he’s deep, like Béla Tarr deep.” We vibed, but then – poof – gone. Surprised me how flaky folks are! It’s all “let’s bone” then “see ya, toots.” Drives me nuts, like, “What’s left? Nothin’!” – straight outta Turin Horse. Oh, and the pics – don’t get me started! Half these guys send dick pix like it’s a résumé. *nasally* “Honey, I ain’t hirin’!”

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But then, I see this one kid, looking all guilty and stuff. I walk up to him, and he’s shaking like a leaf. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a castle! But then he tells me they were looking for ghosts. Ghosts! I can’t even. I had to stifle a laugh. “You think the ghosts are gonna give you a high-five?” I said. He just stared at me, wide-eyed.

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