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Findin’ one? Psh, ya gotta know the signs. Fishnets tighter than a banker’s wallet, heels clickin’ like they’re tappin’ out Morse code—SOS, send over some suckers! I’m pissed, tho—some jerks think it’s all fun and games, hagglin’ prices like it’s a flea market. Nah, dude, respect the hustle! Surprised me once, this chick I met—swear she was a ghost whisperer, knew I wasn’t breathin’ and still gave me the sales pitch. Ballsy! Loved that. “You’re not like the others,” she says—damn right, I’m freakin’ Beetlejuice!

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First off, I roll into town, and it’s like, “Whoa, where’s the coffee?” I hit up this cute café on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the blue awning? Yeah, that one. I grab a cup, and the barista, this dude named Joris, spills half of it on me. Like, c’mon man! I’m not a walking coffee cup! I’m already cranky, and now I smell like a latte. Great start, right?

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