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Me? I’d be yellin’, “Get a grip, dude!” Watched *Shame* and cried when he’s just… empty. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t fillin’ that hole—trust me. Once knew a guy, swore it was “just fun”—ended up broke, STD city. Don’t pee on my leg, sayin’ it’s all cool! It’s a gamble, and I’m bettin’ you lose. Stay sharp, fam—life ain’t a movie, even if McQueen directs it!

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But then, I see it. A dog. A big ol’ fluffy one. I’m a sucker for dogs, man. I kneel down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and then I realize—my phone’s in my pocket. The dog’s tail knocks it out, and it goes flying! I’m diving for it like it’s the last slice of pizza. I catch it, but not before it lands in a puddle. Great. Just great.

Print Obituary for WASSING, Leonard (Leendert)