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About Eindhoven

So, check dis out, I’m swipin’ on apps, right? All dese profiles—hot babes, horny dudes, all wantin’ action. It’s like choppin’ meat, fast and messy! I’m sittin’ dere, thinkin’, “Hasta la vista, boredom!” Sex-dating’s quick, no bullshit, just bang-bang, ya? But den, some creeps slide in—ugh, dese losers piss me off! Fake pics, ghostin’—makes me wanna flex and yell, “Get to da choppa!”

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So I get to my first gig at a community center on De Laan. It’s packed with people. I’m talking a full house. Everyone’s buzzing, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this!” But then, I realize the speaker is a total bore. I mean, come on! I’m trying to keep the energy up, but this guy is droning on about... I don’t even know. Something about local history? Yawn.