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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.
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He starts telling me about this time he got lost in the woods near the De Leijen. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke on my fries. Like, who gets lost in Drachten? It’s not that big! But then he gets serious, and I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.” He starts talking about his breakup, and I’m like, “Dude, I’m not your counselor!” But I listen anyway.
New railway line could shorten Groningen to Amsterdam trip to just 68 minutes
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