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Oh, and—true story—knew a bloke who hired one, got robbed instead! Wallet, watch, gone—fuckin’ hilarious, but he was ragin’. “I’m not a good person,” Brandon mumbles in Shame—mate, neither was that escort, apparently. Shit like that? Keeps it real. Escorts ain’t saints or victims—just people, y’know? Hustlin’, dodgin’, livin’. I respect the grind, even if it’s messy as fuck. Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—worth every penny for the chaos, eh?

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First off, I head down the Hoofdstraat. You know, the main drag. It’s got that cute little vibe, shops everywhere. I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I bump into this old dude. He’s got a cane and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He starts rambling about the history of Doorn. Like, bro, I’m just trying to get my morning coffee! But he’s all, “Did you know this place was once a royal residence?” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, cool story, grandpa.”

This 83-year-old founder is riding the agetech wave: “My USP is my age”