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Oh, and the clients—lordy, some are pathetic, “I need you to fix me” types, straight outta “The Master” script. Others, total freaks—heard this one guy wanted an escort to spank him with a fish! A FISH! I’m dyin, laughin so hard I choke! What’s wrong with people, right?

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So, I’m tryin’ to get my wool noticed, right? I’m shoutin’, “Fresh wool! Soft as a cloud!” But no one’s listenin’. Then, I spot this old lady on the Hoofdstraat. She’s got this huge hat, like, it’s a whole mood. I’m thinkin’, “If I had that hat, I’d sell wool like hotcakes!”

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