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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a bleedin mess out there! So I’m thinkin, like, “The Pianist,” yeah? That flick’s me fave, got that Polanski vibe. Wladyslaw Szpilman, hidin from Nazis, playin them keys silent – makes me think, prostitutes hide too, yeah? Dodgin coppers, livin in shadows, like Szpilman in them ruins. “I’m alive! I’m alive!” – that’s what they yellin inside, I reckon.

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But here’s where it gets weird. I sit down, and this old lady next to me starts talking about her cat. I mean, I love cats, but she was going on and on. “Fluffy this, Fluffy that.” I’m just nodding, trying to sip my coffee without laughing.

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