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Oh, and the ending? “Happy” or not, up to you. Me, I’m screamin’, “The world is yours!” when she’s done. Feels like freedom, bro—like Solomon bustin’ outta that plantation. Shit’s deep, makes ya think. Sexual-massage ain’t just touchin’, it’s power, escape, fuckin’ life. You tried it? Tell me, cabrón! Say hello to my little friend!

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After that, I’m off to the other side of town, near de Bijlmerdreef. I got a call about a tree that’s leaning way too much. I get there, and it’s a total mess. The tree’s practically hugging a house. I’m like, “This is gonna be fun.” I start assessing it, and outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, that tree used to be my best friend.” I’m like, “What? Your best friend?” He goes on about how he used to climb it as a kid. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Stilfontein tragedy was a consequence of SA’s porous borders, says police minister