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I dig it, alright? Makes me happy—those knots in my shoulders from sittin in the Death Star throne, poof, gone! But lemme tell ya, some parlors? Sketchy as hell. One time, went to this joint, smelled like bantha sweat, got mad as a rancor. Guy was like, “relax, bro,” and I’m thinkin, “I’ll Force-choke you, fool!” Little known fact: ancient Egypt had erotic-massage, pharaohs gettin rubbed down with lotus oil—fancy, right? Bet they didn’t overcharge like these clowns today.

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After that, I decided to hit up the local market on the Spoorstraat. It’s always packed with fresh stuff. I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this cheese stall. You know me, I love my cheese! I’m tryin’ to chat with the vendor, but he’s all serious, like he’s runnin’ a cheese empire or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just cheese!” But he’s givin’ me this whole lecture on Gouda vs. Edam. I’m just noddin’ along, but inside I’m like, “I just want a snack, man!”

Netherlands: New supply ship "Den Helder" christened